Original Notes and Quotes

“An unbelieved truth is often more dangerous than a lie. The lie in this case is the idea that I want things entirely on my own, uninfluenced by others, that I’m the sovereign king of deciding what is wantable and what is not. The truth is that my desires are derivative, mediated by others, and that I’m part of an” Note: Coo

“By embracing the lie of my independent desires, I deceive only myself. But by rejecting the truth, I deny the consequences that my desires have for other people and theirs for me. It turns out the things we want matter far more than we know.” Note: Rr

“He uncovered something perplexing, something which seemed to be present in nearly all of the most compelling novels ever written: characters in these novels rely on other characters to show them what is worth wanting.” Note: Lol

“And knowing what to want is much harder than knowing what to need.” Note: Hm

“Models of desire are what make Facebook such a potent drug. Before Facebook, a person’s models came from a small set of people: friends, family, work, magazines, and maybe TV.” Note: Look

“Desire is our primordial concern. Long before people can articulate why they want something, they start wanting it.” Note: Baby experiment

“Mimetic desire operates in the dark. Those who can see in the dark take full advantage.” Note: Dark

“He gave the illusion of autonomy—because that’s how people think desire works. Models are most powerful when they are hidden. If you want to make someone passionate about something, they have to believe the desire is their own.” Note: True

“We’re model addicts. Right now, the models we prefer are experts.” Note: Tt

“People worry about what other people will think before they say something—which affects what they say. In other words, our perception of reality changes reality by altering the way we might otherwise act. This leads to a self-fulfilling circularity.” Note: Soros example

“Winston Churchill spoke about the reflexivity of architecture when he said, ‘We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.’” Note: Coolio

“In the purported words of Groucho Marx: ‘I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.’” Note: Lol

“Invent great products; get elite athletes to use them; inspire Weekend Warriors to mimic their heroes; attract mainstream customers; and build brand power as more and more athletes use the products. But then, to maintain the ‘cool’ factor, set high prices and channel profits back into creating the next generation of great products that elite athletes want to use.” Note: Tlo

“If you’re in the ocean when lightning strikes, you have little to fear. But if you’re in a pool and lightning strikes it, you have a lot to fear. Celebristan is like the ocean. Freshmanistan is like a pool.” Note: Tr

“What happened? Why was throwing the first stone so hard? Because the first stone is the only stone without a mimetic model.” Note: Cool

“Western culture has developed strongly around the defense of victims. Over the past two thousand years, there have been dramatic advances in public and private law, economic policies, and penal legislation to protect the vulnerable. Civilian (not military) hospitals sprang up in the fourth century.” Note: True

“‘What do you fear, lady?’ he asked. ‘A cage,’ she said. ‘To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.’” Note: Tro

“‘we don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.’” Note: True

“The obsession with goal setting is misguided, even counterproductive. Setting goals isn’t bad. But when the focus is on how to set goals rather than how to choose them in the first place, goals can easily turn into instruments of self-flagellation.” Note: So true

“when a strong mimetic system is in place, it remains in place until it’s disrupted by a stronger one.” Note: True

“Each of us has our own version of a Michelin star system.” Note: Desire

“PUT DESIRES TO THE TEST” Note: Yr

“Empathy is the ability to share in another person’s experience—but without imitating them (their speech, their beliefs, their actions, their feelings) and without identifying with them to the point that one’s own individuality and self-possession are lost. In this sense, empathy is anti-mimetic.” Note: Empatic

“Empathy disrupts negative cycles of mimesis. A person who is able to empathize can enter into the experience of another person and share her thoughts and feelings without necessarily sharing her desires.” Note: Tr

“Discovering and developing thick desires protects against cheap mimetic desires—and ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life.” Note: Tre

“I spent more time looking sideways than I did forward.” Note: Tr

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” Note: Tr

“Magnanimous, great-spirited leaders are driven by transcendent desire—desire that leads outward, beyond the existing paradigm, because the models are external mediators of desire. These leaders expand everyone’s universe of desire and help them explore it.” Note: Tr

“Seeing one’s life and work as an arena in which the battle between immanent and transcendent desire plays out is the first step. Choosing to move beyond the system of rewards and” Note: Fight

“The health of an organization is directly proportional to the speed at which truth travels within it.” Note: Trew

“Meditative thought, on the other hand, is patient thought. It is not the same thing as meditation. Meditative thought is simply slow, nonproductive thought. It’s not reactionary. It’s the kind of thought that, upon hearing news or experiencing something surprising, doesn’t immediately look for solutions. Instead, it asks a series of questions that help the asker sink down further into the reality: What is this new situation? What is behind it? Meditative thought is patient enough to allow the truth to reveal itself.” Note: Tr

“Many relationships are held together by mimetic bonds: between players who compete for a coach’s respect, colleagues who compete for status, and academics building out their CVs.” Note: Trd

“I believe the purpose of work is not merely to make more but to become more.” Note: Tr

Key Insights

1. The Nature of Desire
   • Our desires are largely influenced by others rather than being truly autonomous
   • Hidden models are the most powerful influencers of desire
   • Understanding what to want is more challenging than knowing what to need
2. Systems and Goals
   • We fall to the level of our systems, not rise to our goals
   • Strong systems persist until disrupted by stronger ones
   • Goal-setting without proper consideration can become self-destructive
3. Empathy and Mimetic Desire
   • Empathy serves as an antidote to mimetic desire
   • True empathy allows understanding without imitation
   • “Thick desires” provide protection against superficial mimetic desires
4. Leadership and Organizational Dynamics
   • Great leadership involves inspiring transcendent desire
   • Organizational health correlates with truth’s ability to flow
   • Effective leaders focus on creating yearning rather than just giving orders
5. Social Media and Modern Influence
   • Social platforms have exponentially increased our exposure to models of desire
   • The modern world has vastly expanded our potential models
   • Digital platforms have amplified mimetic effects

Summary

“Wanting” explores the concept of mimetic desire and its profound impact on human behavior and decision-making. The book argues that our desires are not truly our own but are borrowed from others who serve as our models. This understanding is crucial for personal growth, leadership, and building healthy organizations.

The work challenges the common belief in autonomous desire while offering practical insights into developing more authentic “thick” desires. It emphasizes the importance of systems over goals, the role of empathy in breaking mimetic cycles, and the need for meditative thought in a fast-paced world.

Key themes include the hidden nature of desire models, the impact of social media on desire formation, the importance of transcendent leadership, and the role of empathy in maintaining individuality while connecting with others. The book provides a framework for understanding how mimetic desire shapes our personal and professional lives, while offering strategies for more conscious and authentic decision-making.

Tactics from “Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire”

Personal Development Tactics

1. Develop Meditative Thought
   • Practice slow, nonproductive thought
   • Don’t immediately look for solutions when facing surprises
   • Ask deeper questions about situations: “What is this new situation? What is behind it?”
   • Allow truth to reveal itself through patience
2. Cultivate Empathy as an Anti-Mimetic Force
   • Share in others’ experiences without imitating them
   • Understand others’ feelings without adopting their desires
   • Maintain individuality while connecting with others
   • Use empathy to disrupt negative mimetic cycles
3. Develop “Thick Desires”
   • Focus on deeper, more authentic desires
   • Use these to protect against superficial mimetic desires
   • Look forward instead of “sideways” at others
   • Question whether desires are truly yours or mimetically adopted
4. Put Desires to the Test
   • Explicitly examine the source of your desires
   • Question whether a desire serves your authentic goals
   • Evaluate if desires are mimetic or genuine

Leadership Tactics

1. Inspire Transcendent Desire
   • Focus on creating yearning rather than giving orders
   • Help others explore broader possibilities
   • Lead beyond the existing paradigm
   • Create external mediators of desire
2. Build Healthy Organizations
   • Prioritize the speed at which truth travels within the organization
   • Move beyond simple reward systems
   • Recognize and manage mimetic bonds between team members
   • Balance competition with authentic growth
3. Use the “Ship-Building” Approach
   • Don’t just assign tasks and give orders
   • Teach people to yearn for the larger vision
   • Connect work to transcendent purpose
   • Focus on inspiring rather than commanding

System-Building Tactics

1. Focus on Systems Over Goals
   • Recognize that we fall to the level of our systems
   • Build strong systems rather than just setting goals
   • Avoid using goals as instruments of self-flagellation
   • Create systems that support authentic desires
2. Manage Model Exposure
   • Be conscious of where your models come from
   • Recognize the power of hidden models
   • Understand the impact of social media on desire formation
   • Choose models deliberately rather than passively
3. Navigate Different Social Environments
   • Understand the difference between “Celebristan” and “Freshmanistan”
   • Recognize when you’re in a highly mimetic environment
   • Adapt strategies based on the social context
   • Be aware of how different environments affect desire

Professional Development Tactics

1. Reframe Work Purpose
   • Focus on becoming more rather than making more
   • View work as an arena for personal growth
   • Balance competition with authentic development
   • Look for opportunities for transcendent growth
2. Manage Competitive Relationships
   • Recognize mimetic bonds in professional relationships
   • Balance competition with collaboration
   • Understand how status seeking affects relationships
   • Build authentic connections beyond mimetic desire

Implementation Notes

1. Success requires consistent practice of these tactics
2. Different tactics may be more relevant in different contexts
3. The goal is not to eliminate mimetic desire but to manage it consciously
4. Focus on developing authentic desires while being aware of mimetic influences
5. Regular reflection and adjustment of tactics may be necessary
6. Combine multiple tactics for more effective results

The author emphasizes that these tactics should be used thoughtfully and adapted to individual circumstances. The goal is not to completely eliminate mimetic desire (which would be impossible) but to become more conscious of it and develop more authentic desires while managing mimetic influences effectively.

What will I do?

Understand that everything I have been doing are based from models. Everything I wanted was based on outside models. Do not be consumed only with calculative thoughts but practice meditative thoughts and have believes that answers would come to you. Develop thick desires not thin desires. Use ship-building approach.